There was a little old lady standing at a corner. She had both hands holding her hat on while the wind blew her dress up around her waist.
A dignified southern gentleman came up and said, "Ma'am, you should be ashamed of yourself, letting your skirt blow around, being indecent, while both hands hold your hat."
She said, "Look mister, everything down there is seventy years old; this hat is brand new!"